Mercy no Heaven

The old man woke up
He woke up in the middle of the night
He rolled over
He looked at
He looked down on
His sleeping wife

He picked up
He picked up the pillow
He put it down
He put it over
Over the face of his sleeping wife
So that no breath could come in
He ended her life

The Alzheimers was over
He put down the pillow
He turned on the light
There she was
Motionless and peaceful
For over fifty years
She'd been his wife

He swung his legs out
Put his boots on
Grabbed a jacked
Went out into the night
Walked and walked
The that orange bridge
That  golden bridge
It was two a.m.

The old man pushed the button
He got permission
To walk
In his pajamas and his boots
To the other side
The other side in Marin

The old man got to
He got to the middle
Where the cables hung low
The City shimmered
Blackness shown deep down below
He took his boots off
He had killed his best friend
He never made it to Marin

4X4

Worry worry worry worry
Hate hate hate hate
Dream dream dream dream
Escape escape escape escape

Kill the hours waiting for the next hour when you have something to do

Ignore ignore ignore ignore
Frustrate frustrate frustrate frustrate
Seethe seethe seethe seethe
Wonder wonder wonder wonder

Kill the hours waiting for the next hour when you have someone to talk to

Breathe breathe breathe breathe
Sleep sleep sleep sleep
Lonely lonely lonely lonely
Empty empty empty empty

Kill the hours waiting for the next hour when you have somewhere to go

Facade facade facade facade
Fantasy fantasy fantasy fantasy
Fake fake fake fake
Fuck fuck fuck fuck

Kill the hours waiting for the next hour when you have something to believe in

A Spin on the Cycle of Bipolar Fun

Oppressive emptiness slowly turning to the anticipation of the oncoming onslaught of activity
Almost a giddy quiver of insidious happiness
A smirking gleeful apathetic sociopathy
Consuming, devouring the existential meaninglessness
Batting it about like a cat with a malicious playfulness
An eruption of purposely being in the now
Bursting into the next moment
A blowtorch igniting the wicks on all ends
Sprinting quick fuse chasing a powder filled consciousness encased in a faltering mind attached to a decaying body

Put the top down!
Enjoy the ride!

We are what we think we are
We are what we let ourselves be

Part the curtain
Break the jar
Come out of the cave
Untie the strings

Observe
Participate
Rebel
Capitulate
Ignore
Embrace

There are no chains
There is no escape

Oh Muse you've bounced around my cognitions
An atom seeking entropy trapped in my consciousness
Creating fission and fusion of ineffable beauty and horror
Almost tangible perfection slipping through my mental grasp
Can I tame you
Can I break you
Can I leash you
Sometimes a word
Sometimes a note
Sometimes a color
Sometimes an emotion
I feel like I've lost more than I ever had
I chase you
I stand still and you pass me
I ignore you and you taunt me
You will never free me
I cannot free you
You are Me